I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just cropdusted the office
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I supernannyed him into submission
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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