How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
