I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
