One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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