I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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