Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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