my sisters under your porch take her home
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You're like the curious george of whores
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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