Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
