So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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