I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she smelled like a LAN party
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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