you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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