we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
