Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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