i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well I just put wine in my tea
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
