Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
