Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is my gift to your gina
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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