did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is the high leading the old right now
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
