im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
