Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
