there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
