Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
