question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
