My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His hands were made for my vagina.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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