Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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