i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
