it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
