what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
