After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
