They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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