literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
