He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
