Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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