Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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