I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
