Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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