Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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