Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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