I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
