I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
jump out the window naked night went bad
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
