evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
