I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
