like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
