so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
