i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
