But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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