Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
