Those balls look pretty dangerous.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
