so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
