The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
