between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
