seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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