We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
