I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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