hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
