if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
